Saturday, May 19, 2007
jackie pullinger's seminar was an eye opener..strangely enough.. from the time she stepped on the stage, her presence felt me abashed. at the beginning i didn't knw why... i jus somewhat knew tt she was someone of great imptance..(tt's becos i didn't knw what she did and who she was! i'm a frog living in my own well) she taught me tt god's word is our life and it must be practised and not jus read but done in action.. and there she was goin all out.. she's an eurporean woman goin into hongkong speaking jus like one of the locals. i was amazed... she took drug addicts into her house.. lived n ate with them.. with no resources no fundings.. but jus god's word,faith and her believe and love for the poor... there were things she said like...these pple haven sat and ate with their families for years and when they came to singapore and sat with the families they lived with, they were so touched..one thing i noticed abt her was tt she kept talkin abt us having all the funny equipment in front of her and she wanted them to be turn off becos she didn't like it and obviously there wasn't a need to have them(i think tt was what she was indirectly saying) which made me feel even smaller... i jus wanted to hide.. here stands a woman who doesn't rely on such sophisticated machines, money and yet she accomplished much.. she said tt minisitry with the poor didn't have to start with a committee, fundings, not a need for a nice air-conditioned room NONE OF TT!(she sorrta shouted tt into the microphone) all we had to do was to start with one person.. just offerin something.. she also said tt the poor dun want your money! they watch your actions.. which i seriously agreed to...we donate money but where does tt money go? who really knws? and god didnt ask us to donate he told us to help( with actions) hmm... and just from tt i'vev learn to appreciate what i have.. i feel tt i've grown alot.. well matured.. not tt i'm still not cranky adn blur n doin dumb things to my brother.. but yeah.. the mature thinking part has grown.. i used to be a shoppin freak someone who wasn't satisfied with life.. or self centred.. or jus too contented.. a.. anyway it's jus all things bad.. now when i look at things i do have the tendency to reflect like.. is it worth? shld i react tt way? do i realy need it? what' most impt thing at the present moment?.. like shoppin doesn't excite me tt much... even thou i haven been out for tt long i dun really mind anymore.. it's nice to have home a room to myself.. and it's nice to sit and eat with the family...from tt seminar god touched me i started cryin like a baby... nobody prayed for me at first.. but i felt tears in my eyes.. and i couldn't control it.. and when my leader prayed for me it became worse..it was as thou god stripped me and showed me everything i had and how he blessed me and the riches he had bestowed upon me and yet i am an ungrateful brat! hm.. i'll start with my family first...i'll start to love them more..if i cant stand the pple i live with wat more others... ok. tt was last wk i think.. haha i cant rem when her sem was..
movin on... yesterday i had so much fun with the kids for the touch clubs.. oh my.. kids really can stuck the strength out of u.. i was so hungry tt i ate.. a bowl of noodles, 3 garlic breads, 1 mushroom bun, 1 slice of bread, cod fish n mushroom soup! and wanwan n cranberry juice.. i had a hard stomach again! hahaha.. but yeah i had loadsa fun... and it was a longtime since i truly stood at the beach stonned..
and my bro has been slpin in my room.. i think it's becos he watches too much ghost stories and has all tt little ghost flyin in his head.. hahaha! church soon! cheerio! sorry no pictures foo foo..
d'eborah at 7:20 PM
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
the past few days i spent every morning cleanin my house n my room..cant stand living in a messy house.. gosh i wish my dad would jus move his stuff.. oh well.. after all tt cleanin i think i'll miss cleanin the house becos i'll move out.. hm.. sometimes i feel tt i'm not appreciated at home..becos when i'm helpin out andd my bro and dad doesn't and i do something wrong they'll say i'm a cant be bothered person and so wat if i help... it's my house i should everything.. gosh! i'm not sayin it's not house man! and my bro doesn't do a shit.. he for goodness sak doesn't even knw how to boil an egg.. it's really pisses me off.. and my mum will go.. your bro is still young... like he's sec 4 in council n badminton holdin so high position and he cant even take care of himself.. i'm not jealous.. tt my mum treats him like a gem! it's jus tt he's big enough to help out and i'm not doin the housework jus to please them or brag(which i dont) gosh.. my mum has something against me i think.. and my dad has this stupid thinkin tt women should do all the housework..gross i want someone like tt..i'm really tryin my best to be a good daugther.. and they around sayin tt i'm an ahlian!!!tt's the worse thing they can say!(not tt i have anything against them but i'm not).
my mum's sufferin from some (i dunno wats wrong with her)
jus yesterday.. she asked me to move aside cos she wants to boil some herb stuff.. i was washin the dishes.. so i moved out and watch tv.. then she was still in the kitchen then she suddenly said why i wash things half way.. then i'm like u r in the kitchen and u asked me to move.. then she walked out and got angry and said how can i say tt so rude! and i should have said i'll do it later..but mind u my tone was a normal one..
gosh! i really have nth to say.. my dad was like jus listen and keep quiet.. but i didn't do anything.. i jus told her wat she told me which was to leave the kitchen.. then i get scolded! maddness right? and guess wat but my parents r like tt to me they dun treat my bro like tt..
sorry if i'm forgetful at times.. it's jus tt i'm not aware of somethings.. i really dunno!!!!! tt's the ultimate one.. they'll really give it to left n right.. MY BRAIN OR MEMORY OR WATEVA! cant help it..
well.. my family doesn't seem all tt bad haha! i'm jus grumbling abt these stuff cos it's happenin too often n makin me so.. ya sayin it out does help..
it's pple with less fortunate families tt give me encouragement to look at things on a brighter side at times too..
on the bright side... my bro is changing not so bad tempered.. althou his attitued really sucks when i need his help... he'll take his time to help me esp when i desperately need his help... evil right..
BOOHOO! I'LL B OUT OF MY HOUSE! haha they'll see less of me... and they'll live in a dusty house i think i'll lock my room if not they'll messy it up too! tog with the pollutant(my dog)-they dun usually shower him.. it'll stink haha.. cos my dad n bro dun help. so i think my mum will go mad.. all the best to her.. but i'll miss my bed and my dog.. oh welll. i cant wait for change too(:
d'eborah at 8:12 PM
Saturday, May 05, 2007
I GOT ACCEPTED!THANK GOD!
yayness(:
d'eborah at 3:24 AM
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
cycling n meet ups
thurs was for yenhui! ha we went cycling.. from her house to bishan park and then to j8 for subway and then cycled back..along the way some 'event' happened which had mud involved but it was def worth the trip.i wouldn't say i'm as cranky or crazy as yenhui most of the time i'm jus laughing or saying.. YENHUI AH! haha i'm not a very fun person to be with eh? but i do enjoy the company(: thanks for tt smashing cycling trip!
i miss the times we had during art class! really do...
friday.. met up with tooth paste and monster.. and we had a quick dinner at jack's place or should i say they had a quick dinnner and i had hot cocoa... and yes! the usual army stories cracked us up.. inevitably, there was the whole restaurant turning around to look at us..but we all know after awhile those stories tend to be a repeating itself.. haahaa..in short.. i had a great time jus laughin n laughin..
sat.. had to do flag day for jen's prison thingy.. i tell u! i looked so jaded!
recallin wat happened on friday night....
me--i had coughin nosies coming from the floor
me: joshua u alright?
me, thinking tt my bro wasn't feelin well..
josh: jiejie.. there's a bettle in my room and it's two am now.(the tone he said tt in would jus kill anyone considerin he's sec 4, like a little kid)
i wanted to strangle him... how can he wake me up because of tt! i thot if he was sick i would have offered to get warm water or someting! but no! it was because of a bettle! i'm a light sleeper.. as any noise it would immediately disrupt my slp.. and there u have it.. my whole sat was upside down! and i didn't make it for the kids club.. i bought raicong his dino toys.. and jen told me tt he missed me.. hahha dunno how true! but all the same i felt super guilty.. and yeah i do miss tt kid!
i went home rattling on abt how my bro disturbed my during the night and all he said was.. you're my sister wat...and daddy mummy's bed got no space to slp on! WAH!
sunday was alright i guess...
labour day was jus even more slack!
and for today! i jus cleaned n exercised! and gave my dog a bath.. but he'll stink tons tml.. i think he jus has a BO prob! hrmph!
oh where oh where can my application letter be!
d'eborah at 9:28 PM